The World Cup, Fox News North and Snogging Island...

Anyone suffering from apiphobia (the fear of bees) should try their best to stay away from watching this year's World Cup. The incessant drone of the vuvuzelas creates a playing atmosphere not unlike a beehive, which despite the so-called "authetic touch of South African football", is overwhelmingly annoying. The tournament, otherwise, has not disappointed so far, unless of course you are a supporter of the penultimate powerhouses. If you are a supporter of England, France, Italy, Germany and Spain, your experience of the tournament so far has undoubtedly been a roller coaster ride, if not completely deflating.



This has been my experience so far. England -- my favorites, having strong English roots and being raised by supporters of the monarcy  -- has left almost everything to be desired on the field of play. There is no team cohesion, Rooney is controlling the ball like a nine year old Canadian houseleague player, Lampard couldn't put a beach ball into the ocean and its defensive line is made up of the slowest players in all of England, Ashley Cole excepted. And in typical English fashion, the ball goes back to the keeper if a player senses the smallest interruption of their slowly developing play. Of course, nothing epitomizes the English experience so far as much as Green's goal line blunder against the Americans.

Regardless, hope springs eternal and the lads will pull something out tomorrow.

On another sports-related note, I got wind of Winnipeg's own Jonathan Toews' appearance on Muchmusic's highly coveted Video Awards. Luckily for Toews, his interviewer, the Britney-Spears-in-waiting Miley Cyrus, trashed her lines at every given opportunity, avoiding what might have been one of the most dull interviews in the history of Muchmusic. Toews, despite his amazing hockey prowess, is quite possibly the most underwhelming speaker in hockey today. A post-game interview with him is lucky to include an ounce of enthusiasm on his part. Again, great hockey player, but probably not the best pick for an awards show aimed at young teenagers.

Speaking of Winnipeg, the city could be reeling if a crazy Texas billionaire has his way. In this interview with the CBC, T.B. Johnson proposes to purchase all eight CFL teams, grab the best players and convert them to one NFL franchise, based in Texas. It is so ludicrous I struggle to believe it, but certainly worth a few minutes, if not solely to laugh as the stereotypical Texas oilman.

Moving away from sports, I've been following the developments of SunTV, or the more aptly named, Fox News North. I'd be willing to watch it simply for its entertainment value, which could dwindle quickly given the apparent wimpiness of conservatism in Canada compared to the USA, according to Margaret Wente. Few things are as humourous to watch as the O'Reilly Factor or Glenn Beck's conspiracy theories, but finding such equally partisan loonies in Canada is no small feat. And if the excitement of Fox News is what this station hopes to emulate -- it won't admit it, but we all know that's what they're thinking -- it might be helpful to avoid any interview with Harper, whose personality is equatable with a can of paint.

Finally, a word of warning to any Peterborians venturing down by the river on a late summer's night. This past week, a friend of mine and I accidentally stumbled upon a moment of intimacy between two young lovers as we were walking along the river's edge late at night. In a spot I used to frequent often when I lived in my old house, it turned out that one of the rocks was not actually a rock, but instead a blanket covering two bodies. Of course, it was only after stepping within three feet of the 'rock' that I realized this. Awkwardness ensued, as I clumsily apologized to the yet speechless couple and we tried to make our way away. To my surprise, the male spoke up and asked me if I was Chris. He identified himself -- someone I had known several years ago and was not upset to have gone on that long without contact -- increasing the level of awkardness several fold. Again, we tried to leave, at which point he asked how I was doing. I responded cautiously and then we finally escaped. It was not so much stumbling onto such situation that surprised me -- such things likely happen frequently in a student town like Peterborough -- but rather that this guy was interested in making small talk. Not the time.

Unfortunately, Snogging Island -- as my counterpart appropriately named it after the incident -- will never be the same.