And if you're as lucky as I am, your metabolism has yet to shut down and massive meals seem to do little damage to your waistline.
This is never a problem, except in two situations.
The first usually occurs in a restaurant -- one sitting in the decent to fancy range -- which's menu is pricey and the portions delivered force you to wonder why the serving plates were so large. At a place like this you end up paying a week's worth of groceries for something that will satisfy your hunger like a shot of Sourpuss satisfies a fine scotch drinker. The only thing keeping you going after you've consumed the meal in less than half the time you took to order it is the idea that fine food should be appreciated. This moment lasts only briefly, at which point your interest moves from your plate to your dinner-eating peer, whom you secretly hope will offer you the remnants of their food in due time.
This is so unlikely that you even consider ordering another meal, at which point you realize that such a move would be both embarrassing and more importantly, incredibly uneconomical. If you're not paying, you skip dessert in the hopes that no one else will order any or any coffee. Any additional time will coerce your hunger into a state of cockiness, where it establishes a barrier between your brain and wallet and the $10 price tag beside the 'homemade' cheesecake seems to morph into 'f-r-e-e'.
If you're able to evade the temptations of the dessert menu, your first instinct will be to get home or to another source of food as quickly as possible. Your dinner pals might not make such an opportunity available, so creativity must spring to mind. A 'need to use the bathroom' may conveniently lead you to a nearby McDonald's, which will satisfy your hunger in a wretched display only found in eating contests but for only a fraction of what was charged to your credit card only minutes ago. If you return to your dinner pals, one can only hope that an excuse of 'that dinner didn't sit too well' will suffice any curiosity of your longer than usual vacancy from the group.
The second occurs when you are cooking for another. Because I eat a lot, I cook a lot. So when a friend is over for dinner, I will cook a portion for me and simply double it. This seems to overwhelm my dinner guest almost every time. Luckily, on several occasions I have been lucky enough to eat whatever they left on their plate. Leftovers are also a common occurrence. But on some occasions the meal is not particularly leftover-friendly. Pancakes or scrambled eggs, for instance, are far from enjoyable when reheated a day after their creation. I can only eat so much, so some food has to be thrown out. Such an event is never pleasant and every effort is made to prevent it, but sometimes it can't be avoided.
Nothing is quite as pleasant as the dinner where the host offers you morsel after morsel of deliciousness. To be conquered by the cook requires a special graciousness.
But I am not alone. Being an athlete and a volleyball player, I have surrounded myself with other athletes, who are frequently much larger than I. These guys can eat like I can and witnessing another out-eat me is wondrous, especially when it is done out of sheer hunger and pleasure rather than a machismo competitiveness. Our volleyball road trips routinely involved a stop for fast food where every guy in line had to surpass the previous one by ordering more food. This is not a love of eating, but rather an obnoxious showcase of a bizarre toughness. Or something.
Is it a love of food? Not necessarily. The true delicacies of food are probably more aimed at those who go for dinners like the one in my first example. There is nothing wrong with that. Some of the best meals in the world are small but abundant with cosmic mixes of flavours. Nor does the sheer act of eating satisfy me. Some unfortunate people suffer addictions to eating whereby a bag of Doritos is equivalent to a fix of crack. Rather, it is something in between. A need to satisfy hunger with something tasty. At times such tastiness is healthy, but at times not so much. It is a means to replenish the high level of energy required for my lifestyle.
For those who might suffer the same slings and arrows from friends, family and judgemental strangers, be not afraid. There are others like you who will order a meal while prioritizing bang for the buck. And more importantly, don't fear the reaction of finishing off the meal of someone else. Where do you think the remnants are going? The world of leftovers is not kind and restaurants aren't likely to recycle uneaten bowls of lasagna. Just go for it.
Photo: Scrape TV
