I've been living on my own for several years now and with room mates that entire time. Some have been good, others not so much. I've probably been somewhere in the middle as a room mate; never the best and most cleanly, but certainly never the worst. I've lived with people that would leave the element on overnight, on more than one occasion. Right now I'm subletting from my sister in a large house. The only other person living there is my sister's friend, whose boyfriend is apparently also a permanent occupant, despite not paying rent and having a place of his own several streets down. In my years of living on my own, I've never received such a brash, inappropriate and inaccurately condescending scathing of my behaviour as a room mate as I did this evening -- from the non-resident boyfriend, no less.
Kozub and I just returned from a weekend in Toronto and were lounging on the couch when the boyfriend -- we'll refer to him as DB -- asked to speak to me privately. He told me that the toilet was a disaster and that he and his girlfriend were unwilling to clean it. His description of the sight brought to mind a bathroom completely in shit, with stuff covering the floors and walls. Of course, I said, that is outrageous. It turned out that the toilet simply hadn't been cleaned after someone last used it and that he and his girlfriend were furious. I told him I'd go clean it. No problem. Didn't seem like a huge deal to me.
Thinking that this might constitute the end of the conversation I went back into lounging mode before he lambasted me for having such irresponsible friends. A good friend of mine had stayed the weekend while I was out of town and had apparently left the house and left the door wide open. This sounded very odd and all I could do was apologize for him, thinking there must be some alternate explanation. (As it turned out, there was. He had returned to the house to pick up something and, in a rush, left the door open as he went upstairs. DB and his girl came back as the door was open and went directly upstairs, completely missing my buddy's friend sitting in the living room). DB told me he didn't want his stuff stolen and that if I'm going to have friends stay, they shouldn't be idiots.
Lastly, I was told that they have to clean up after me all the time, that I use her dishes and don't clean them right away. Fair, I said, but I clean them the next day, and I often have to clean their dishes when they have done the same thing. He then went on, in an extremely hostile and aggressive manner I might add, to choose different examples (many of which were quite inaccurate) of times I had left stuff. Instead of listing all the things they had done to piss me off, I chose to ask DB why it is that he was talking to me about this and not his adult girlfriend.
You see, she is timid and non-confrontational. I would understand not wanting to talk about this, but sending the protective alpha male to confront me was a poor alternative. If she thinks I'm bad, just wait until you start living with five other girls. Good luck sending your combative Yes Man to give them a scolding.
After telling DB to relax many times, the girl finally came down and we had a civil conversation. I told them I have lived with certain standards and need to be pushed if the other standards are higher, but not attacked. As I said, I've lived with far worse than I. To which DB told me that now I'm the one at the bottom of the pole and causing all the mess. Bullshit. What a DB.
It didn't help that his approach to talking with me was so uncivil and rather childish. It was like talking to John Baird.
Listen, I won't bite. You can tell me if the house is dirty. I'll clean up, no problem. But if I'm not told that things aren't up to snub, I'm going to live by my standards.
Things are relatively straightened out, but I'm not going to stress out too much about it. After all, I was told that such actions are not uncommon from this couple. Great. But now I get to look forward to another month and a half with them. Yippee.
